Where The Heck Have I Been?

My last post was from Miami, with the promise that I would post through out the week.  I guess I lied.  Not intentionally mind you, but I didn't fulfill my promise.  Actually, looking back on the past few months, I haven't really done anyone any favors with my posts.  Or, non posts I guess.

Let's get a few things straight first.

I have been out of work since November.  As someone who has worked since she was 14, this has been quite a shock to my system.  I have struggled through some depression, a few highs, and then back down to some more depression.

I have always been "the glass is half full" kind of girl.  I try to stay positive because mulling over something isn't going to fix it.  But, I have to admit, this has been a struggle. 

I find myself wondering what the heck I'm supposed to do with my time.  It has been nice being home when Kyle gets home.  I really think that maternity leave should be reserved for when your child is a teenager.  They don't think they need you at that point in time, but they do!  My husbands business has been busy, so I have been able to help out with that. 

I have been interviewed multiple times, making it to the "final" few, but for one reason or another (over qualified, under qualified or they are taking an internal candidate) haven't been able to find something that fits.  The last position I interviewed for I was sure I had nailed it.  It was a job I REALLY wanted, and could envision myself working not only for this company, but in that position.  While in Miami, I received the news that they had decided to hire an internal candidate. 

I was crushed.  No other way to put it.  I seriously thought that I had it.  I know someone who works there, and she called to tell me that she spoke to those that had been in my presentation and interview.  Yes, I went through 2 interviews and a 15 minute presentation in front of a panel.  They loved me and there wasn't anything they would tell me to do differently.  They just had to go internal.

So, that would be why there ended up being no posts from Miami.  My mind was sort of out of it.  I did focus in on the conference after I received the call.  Maybe soap is my calling and I haven't realized it?  I know where I would love to take the business, but money has something else to say about it. 

I'm hoping that I will get back to my old self soon.  I don't feel like myself and I know that my husband thinks I have lost my mind.  A friend of mine has been trying to help me work on what I want to be when I grow up.  I'm hoping to figure it out before it is too late!